Satellite TV Addict

Quagmire is having a garage sale. Peter and the family buy some items from the sale. Peter buys an old Ham radio and spends weeks trying to get sound out of the radio, irritating Lois to no end. Stewie asks Brian if he will take him to Baby Gap because he wants to dress as a “baby douche”. Brian says he’ll do it another time. Stewie’s double appears and asks him a question. Brian asks who this is and Stewie tells him he cloned himself so he would have a helper. Stewie calls his cloned double “Bitch Stewie”. Stewie dumbed down Bitch Stewie so he would follow his orders. Brian is duly impressed.

Chris suggests to his dad that he listen to the Ham radio frequencies because he has heard you can hear ghosts there. Peter gets even more interested in his Ham radio. He finally connects with a voice on a frequency who tells him he is Ronald Reagan. Peter asks Reagan all sorts of personal questions. Peter takes his Ham radio to Quohog Kareoke and sings a duet of “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” with Ronald Reagan. When Reagan sings the static sound is ear piercing and drives the audience crazy with ear pain.

Brian goes to use the bathroom and finds Stewie is taking a bath with Bitch Stewie who is washing his back for him. Brian is a little disturbed by this and walks away. Peter is very excited about his discovery of the ghost of Reagan and shares his new find with his buddies at the bar. Quagmire and Joe are interested but then question things when Reagan plugs Rich Little’s next stand-up engagement. Peter realizes Rich Little is on the airwave doing an impersonation of Reagan. The next day Peter goes to Quagmire’s house to get a refund for his Ham radio purchase. When Quagmire answers the door he sees a baby on his steps along with a note saying he should have worn a condom. Peter, Lois and Joe help Quagmire get a DNA test to see if the baby is his and it is. They leave Quagmire to deal with the baby and he doesn’t know what to do with it.

Brian asks Stewie if he would make a Brian clone for him. Stewie agrees if Brian will do something vaguely sexual first. Brian agrees and Stewie makes a clone of Brian. Stewie tells Brian he dumbed down his clone even more and actually let Bitch Stewie create Brian’s clone, calling him Bitch Brian. Brian meets Bitch Brian who does not function well and is even dumber than Bitch Stewie. Brian gives Bitch Brian a list of things to do for him.

Quagmire has a date over and they end up in bed. Quagmire falls asleep before anything can happen because he has had so little sleep taking care of the baby. When Quagmire wakes up to find his date gone he decides the baby must go. He arranges to have the baby taken by the adoption agency.

Brian finds out that instead of washing his car, Bitch Brian hit his car with a rock. Bitch Brian’s jaw falls off and Brian asks Stewie what’s happening. Stewie suggests their Bitch Brian and Bitch Stewie clones are unstable and ready to fall apart. Bitch Brian melts into a puddle and as Bitch Stewie says “I hope that doesn’t happen to me” he melts into a puddle of goo as well. Brian says as a dog he is compelled to lick up the melted clones.

Quagmire, Peter and Joe go to a stripper joint to celebrate but all Quagmire can think of is Anna Lee. Quagmire and his friends go to the adoptive family’s home and Quagmire sees that Anna Lee is happy with her new family. Quagmire decides its best for the baby to stay with her new family since Quagmire will always be a swinging bachelor guy.