Satellite TV Addict

Forbes, no stranger to a list, has released their latest look into celebrity finances: The Top Female Earners in Primetime Television. Emphasis on primetime, meaning the women had to be working on a series that airs in the primetime hours. Hence, the lack of Oprah at the top of this list.

Instead, the headliner is none other than Oprah-lite herself, Tyra Banks. Sure this wannabe does make a significant chunk of money from her daytime talk show, like her superior, but she also hosts and produces the never-ending reality TV “modeling competition” America’s Next Top Model. All of this hard work nets her a reported 30 MILLION a year. Yes folks, being that narcissistic can actually help you. Go figure.

Coming in at #2 is the pleasant monster actress, Katherine Heigl. You probably know her as the woman who had the luck to star in the hugely successful Judd Apatow movie Knocked Up which instantly made her a movie star and then killed it by ungratefully trashing both the movie and the writer-director. Oh, wait. No. You probably know her from Grey’s Anatomy. Sorry. Anyhow, she is said to be making 18 MILLION.

The rest of the list is as follows:

#3 – Marg Helgenberger of CSI fame. She better hang onto that 9.5 MILLION she made this past year if those ratings keep on slipping.

#4 – Eva Longoria Parker made 9 MILLION. Much of that comes from her reported $395,000 per episode she makes for Desperate Housewives. But what takes her higher than her co-stars are the many endorsement deals she landed. Selling yourself out pays people!

#5 – Mariska Hargitay of Law and Order:SVU is raking in 8.5 MILLION. And if this L&O lasts as long as the original she should expect to rake in much, much more.

#6 – Julia Louis-Dreyfus laughed up 8 MILLION for the year even though The New Adventures of Old Christine is watched by, well, nobody. That’s not very funny.

#7 – Maura Tierney also made 8 MILLION, basically from the last season of ER. Recently diagnosed with cancer, let’s hope she gets well soon.

#8 – Tina Fey banked a cool 7 MILLION and joins Louis-Dreyfus in the how-in-the-hell-are-they-making-this-much-when-nobody-watches-their-show club. It’s very exclusive.

#9 – Marcia Cross is the other Desperate Housewives cast member on the list with 6.2 MILLION. Where exactly she got the extra money over Teri Hatcher and Felicity Huffman is anyone’s guess.

#10 – Jennifer Love Hewitt rounds out the list with her 6 MILLION. And the world cries.