Satellite TV Addict

Tony visits near his own home in Hudson Valley, New York. His guide Rick owns a local inn. Tony and Rick sail on Rick’s sailboat as Tony tells the viewers the history of the Hudson river, apparently a super highway during the industrial revolution to the local mills, docks and river ports. As they sail Tony sees a floating hot dog stand, “Dick’s Dogs”. Tony calls it “the greatest vessel on the river”. They buy hot dogs and dig in. Rick lives in Indian Point, a town that seems to have stopped in time years ago. Living is old fashioned here, the growth of the town stopped when a nuclear power plant was built near the town. At Indian Point Rick takes Tony to catch blue crab for their crab boil meal. Apparently all you do is lower a crab pot from the dock, pull it up and it is always stuffed with blue crabs. The blue crabs are boiled in a pot and readied for the meal. As Tony exclaims “this is delicious” eating their fill of blue crabs, a geiger counter sound plays in the background calculating radiation.

Next Tony visits Quaker Creek Store where they create their own artisanal sausages. A local gives Tony a bottle of homemade Polish Vodka for his meal. Chef Bobby, one of the owners of the store, dines with Tony as they enjoy traditional Polish dishes such as sausages and potato and onion perogies. Tony pulls out the Polish vodka and tries it, saying after drinking the homemade vodka he hopes he doesn’t “wake up naked in a dumpster without my kidneys”.

In the next scene we see Tony, along with his good friend, chef Michael Ruhlman, driving in an old convertible Lincoln Continental. They are on their way to the Culinary Institute of America (CIA) where Tony trained as a chef. Tony and Ruhlman are paired together with other young chefs who must put together a dish for the CIA instructor Michael Pardis. Tony and Ruhlman gear up with aprons and tall chef hats. Tony says of the hats “hated them then and I hate them now, we used to call them coffee filters”. Tony and Ruhlman get cutting, slicing up red peppers and squid, arguing which way to cut the squid until Pardis tells them to cut it in rings, Tony’s way. Tony harasses Ruhlman, telling him “look up chef in the dictionary and it says ‘not you’”.

In the CIA parking lot Tony is jokingly passing out No Reservations t-shirts to the students for money and passing out condoms, as the young chefs laugh and banter with the two seasoned chefs. Next Tony and Ruhlman visit Rondout Bay Marina where they hang out with some of the locals and drink shots at the outdoor bar.

Tony and Ruhlman are seen driving in the convertible headed to Mohonk Mountain House, a grand 265-room Victorian castle, one of America’s oldest family-owned resorts. Ruhlman exclaims “wow” as they drive up to the impressive castle, the castle surrounded by water and beautiful landscaping. Tony has arranged for them to paddle a canoe in the lake then enjoy high tea. Ruhlman is shocked Tony is interested in high tea but changes his mind when the extensive layout of fancy sandwiches and petit fours arrives. Tony tells Ruhlman the castle has an eariness to it similar to the movie “The Shining”.

Next stop is a party at CIA instructor Michael Pardis’ home. Tony and Ruhlman are looking forward to the numerous asian dishes Pardis is preparing for them. Tony digs into a bowl of noodles with pork and is in heaven. Pardis’ 10 year old daughter (going on 40) tells Tony she watches his show. As Tony jokes with the girl about how hard his television job is, she says sarcastically “food in your mouth is so much work” and Tony cracks up. Tony tells the camera Pardis’s daughter “beat him like a rented mule” with her clever comments during their conversation. Tony returns the favor by helping her fly high on her tire swing.

In the final segment, Tony visits chef Peter Kelly’s restaurant X20, set on a pier on the Hudson river. Kelly has arranged for his good friend Bill Murray to have dinner with Tony, who is blown away that he will be meeting the movie icon. Tony and Murray chat while dining, talking about their beloved New York. When Tony asks Murray where he’d like to travel, Murray tells Tony he’d like to take a PT boat through the Philippines. Dinner consists of lobster two ways, sashimi, duck with hoisin sauce and steamed buns, finishing with a cowboy ribeye steak for two. The final scene shows Tony heading home, riding on a tugboat down the Hudson river.